Emotional regulation plays a big role in how we handle stress, relationships, and everyday challenges. When these skills are off-balance, emotional dysregulation can disrupt our lives to the point that intense and uncontrollable emotions are running the show. Here we discuss the value of emotional regulation, tips for identifying and treating emotional dysregulation, and how therapy can help, with insights from Seth Mudd, LCSW, a therapist at SOL Mental Health.
First, What Is Emotional Regulation?
Emotional regulation is the skill of understanding, managing, and responding to emotions in ways that support your goals and well-being. It’s not about ignoring or suppressing feelings, but taking note of them and choosing healthy ways to respond. Strong regulation skills help you better handle stress, adapt to change, and navigate everyday challenges more effectively.
Most of us start learning emotional regulation in childhood and continue refining these skills as we grow. For example, temper tantrums are common in young children because they’re still learning how to express feelings and cope with frustration. Over time, and with the development of emotional regulation skills, those intense reactions fade. But when they don’t, it can result in emotional dysregulation as adults.
What Is Emotional Dysregulation?
Emotional dysregulation can be the result of trauma, physical or mental illness, or prolonged stress. “One of the hardest skills to master is emotional dysregulation,” says Mudd. “Dysregulation is when we have a flood of emotions and we don't know how to manage them,” because emotions feel stronger than expected or more intensely than a person is able to cope.
Causes of Emotional Dysregulation
Emotional dysregulation is often caused by multiple factors preventing different parts of the brain from working together.
Mental health causes include:
- Anxiety disorders
- Mood disorders
- OCD
- Personality disorders
- PTSD
- Substance use
Physical/physiological causes include:
- Alzheimer’s
- Brain tumors
- Concussions
- Dementia
- Epilepsy
- Stroke
- Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)
While these genetic or biological factors may not be preventable, it doesn’t mean emotional dysregulation cannot be managed through proper care.
Signs Someone Is Experiencing Emotional Dysregulation
Emotional dysregulation results in a person feeling out of control mentally and even physically. Common signs of emotional dysregulation may include:
- Outbursts or Temper Tantrums (Age Dependent)
- Impulsive behaviors
- Substance use
- Difficulty concentrating outside of the emotion
- Depression or other mood disorders
- Mood swings
- Intense reactions to minor problems
- Withdrawal or detachment
- Restlessness or anxiety
- Inability to calm the self
- Trouble maintaining relationships
- Total dissociation
- Self-harm
Failure to recognize these symptoms and get prompt treatment for emotional dysregulation can cause disruptions in a person’s professional life as well as with friendships and romantic relationships.
Tips for Managing Emotional Dysregulation
There are many ways to prevent and manage emotional dysregulation, despite underlying biological causes or environmental factors. “I'm going to use the metaphor of wind,” Mudd states in relation to this management.
“When we're outside and we feel a gust of wind, think of that as your emotional base. We can notice it. We can feel it in our body. However, if that wind starts to grow, we get scared and we try and adjust in various ways to protect ourselves. But if we don't do that, these things can build up and, like the wind, it builds and builds and builds and it can feel like we're in hurricane.
“Once we're in that hurricane, we lose control of our self and we no longer have a sense of safety and freedom. So when these instances happen, the most important thing that you can do is get back to basics. Calm yourself, take time, take space, do what you can to regulate yourself and calm yourself down.”
Some of these basics include:
Practicing Mindfulness
Being present and mindful of your breathing, meditating, adhering to a sleep schedule, and taking time for relaxation are excellent ways to regulate the self.
Knowing Your Triggers
Identify situations, environment, behaviors, and even people that may trigger a negative emotional response. This could mean setting firm boundaries with friends or family, limiting alcohol intake, or setting aside personal time to decompress.
Building a Support System
Surround yourself with people you trust and who you can count on to be a positive influence in your life.
Asking about Medications
If needed, your medical provider can prescribe medication to treat conditions like ADHD, depression, and high blood pressure that may be causing emotional dysregulation.
Trying Therapy
Therapeutic approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) can be effective in teaching emotion regulation and building healthy coping skills.
How Dialectical Behavior Therapy Can Help with Emotional Dysregulation
DBT is an evidence-based therapeutic approach designed to help people better manage emotional dysregulation. Rather than trying to eliminate difficult emotions, it focuses on building skills to understand, tolerate, and respond to emotions in healthier ways while reducing impulsive reactions. This is achieved through the development of core skill areas that may include:
- Mindfulness – Helps individuals stay present and observe thoughts and emotions without judgment, creating space between feelings and reactions. This awareness supports calmer, more intentional responses, especially during high-stress moments.
- Emotion Regulation – Focuses on identifying and labeling emotions, reducing emotional vulnerability, and increasing positive experiences. These skills help counter unhelpful emotional patterns and improve confidence and emotional balance.
- Distress Tolerance – Teaches practical tools for getting through emotional crises without making things worse. Techniques such as self-soothing, grounding, and TIP (Temperature Change, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing) help manage intense emotions safely and effectively.
- Interpersonal Effectiveness – Strengthens communication, boundary-setting, and conflict-resolution skills. Structured tools like DEAR MAN (Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, Mindful, Appear Confident, Negotiate) help individuals express needs clearly while maintaining relationships, reducing emotional strain tied to interpersonal challenges.
DBT skills are often learned in group therapy settings, which provide structure, accountability, and peer support, while individual therapy helps tailor these skills to personal experiences. Together, this approach empowers people to validate their emotions while changing unhelpful behaviors, leading to greater emotional stability and improved overall well-being.
Support When You Need It
If you’re experiencing emotional dysregulation and are ready to build the skills necessary to support long-term mental health, we are here for you. SOL Mental Health specializes in therapeutic services like DBT and other approaches to help you build the framework for managing emotions, develop effective coping skills, and move forward with clarity and strong emotional regulation.
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Resources
Emotional Dysregulation
Cleveland Clinic
Dysregulation: Navigating Through Emotional Turmoil
PositivePsychology.com
