Being diagnosed with a personality disorder, or having a loved one receive a diagnosis, can feel daunting, especially if it begins to affect your family dynamic. Here we'll discuss tips for managing personality disorders with family and life, and how relationships can be rebuilt.
Types of Personality Disorders
“Personality disorder” is a broad term that includes a range of diagnoses, including borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, obsessive compulsive personality disorder, and paranoid personality disorder, to name just a few. These conditions are all unique, and are split into two main categories: cluster A and cluster B personality disorders.
- Cluster A Disorders: Characterized by eccentric or strange behaviors and thought processes, like paranoia and hallucinations.
- Cluster B Disorders: Often indicated by intense, paradoxical, or just unexpected emotional responses or behaviors.
It’s important to note that no blame should be cast on the person with a personality disorder or the family, in many cases. While some personality disorders seem to develop more commonly in people who were abused or traumatized as children, it’s not a hard fact that awful things need to happen to cause a personality disorder to develop. Indeed, it’s not fully understood why they happen, or why it seems to be hereditary in some cases.
How Personality Disorders Affect Family Dynamics
As you can see, there is a broad range of personality disorders, but one thing they all have in common is how destructive they can be to a family dynamic, causing intense strain and even years of struggling for both individuals and entire families. Any type of personality disorder can cause instability or conflict due to guilt, manipulation, alienation, and other high-stress dynamics:
- Emotional Regulation: Passive-aggressive behaviors, negative tones, and poor communication can make family members feel constantly on edge, with all parties feeling helpless, guilty, and exhausted.
- Unstable Environment: Personality disorders can cause intense mood swings, impulsive or destructive behaviors, and potentially violent outbursts, leading to a chaotic home.
- Strained Relationships: Manipulation, sibling competitiveness, and other issues can lead to family members or the individual with the personality disorder withdrawing from relationships.
Regardless of a family’s emotional strength and preexisting bond, a personality disorder can disrupt and test the limits of the entire family relationship. In some cases, the damage may seem permanent. Things can’t be undone or unsaid, and while that’s true, each individual needs to be considerate of the other party in familial issues like this.
Rebuilding Your Family Amid Personality Disorders
Personality disorders are sometimes difficult to treat and cope with because many symptoms of these disorders involve self-harm or self-sabotage. If a person isn’t interested in preserving their own well-being, it becomes that much harder to appreciate the well-being of others, even those in their own family. But it’s not impossible to cope with destructive behavior and heal wounds caused by personality disorders. With patience and compassion, families can often mend even the most extensive damage, but willing participation is imperative.
The best thing for everyone involved in the family is therapy of some sort. Group therapy can be incredibly useful for the people affected by a loved one’s personality disorder. In a group setting, you can hear other people’s stories, and that can be critical in recognizing that your family member isn’t acting maliciously – people with personality disorders are mentally ill. They cannot just will away their behavior, and learning of these similar experiences can help illustrate how destructive and difficult these disorders are for the people suffering from them. Group therapy can also help to arm families with important knowledge on how others coped with disruption. Since group therapy is often ongoing, your first time may be another person’s sixtieth time. Learning from those people’s experiences can help you avoid similar mistakes or give you ideas for dealing with your own family member.
Psychiatric assistance for personality disorders is often critical to rebuilding damaged familial relationships. Medications can do a great deal for people with personality disorders, helping to restore balance to a person’s mental well-being. There is no cure for a personality disorder, but psychiatric care, medication, and some form of counseling can greatly improve their quality of life.
You & Your Family Aren’t Alone
Repairing a relationship is never easy, and repairing a relationship while also coming to terms with your own mental illness is exponentially more difficult. You don’t want to do it alone. Having a support system of neutral and dedicated mental health professionals can make rebuilding your life a much more achievable goal.
At SOL Mental Health, we understand how hard personality disorders are on families, and know that sometimes disruptions are unavoidable. If you’re ready to begin your healing journey and rebuild in the wake of a personality disorder disruption, contact us today for a consultation.
